Concert Etiquette 101
The unspoken rules of attending a concert that nobody talks about.
Since 2013, I’ve been to 63 concerts. I absolutely hate parties, but concerts are another story. The feeling of everyone in a tightly packed crowd being in the same place for the same reason, feeling the magic and sharing the love of the artist performing all together. The feeling is so tangible - it feels so special and unlike anything else. Some of my favorite and most special concerts I’ve gotten to see are Lana Del Rey, Limp Bizkit, Sky Ferreira, Bush, Young Thug, and Charli XCX (upwards of 10 times).
The online discourse surrounding concert etiquette fueled by Chappell Roan and Beabadoobee speaking out is addressing the new types of “fans” birthed by the internet who will stop at nothing to selfishly make a moment for themselves, instead of enjoying the gift of a live performance from one of their favorite artists. While I don’t agree with Roan’s labeling of fan obsession as abuse, I do agree with her that it is out of hand and I applaud her for taking a stance in consideration of her mental health and frankly, her humanity. Whether that’s throwing things on stage, causing a commotion in the crowd, intense stalking, or watching the show during a phone screen, I’m here to lay out the do’s and don’t’s of basic concert etiquette.
Just as a disclaimer, these rules mostly apply to standing room general admission concerts, which is where everyone purchases the same ticket, there are usually long lines to get in (especially for artists with cult fanbases) due to the first-come-first-serve nature of enjoying a GA concert. Take these insights and apply them to seated shows - just obviously not the ones that do not fit the situation!
TLDR; Respect those around you and don’t be afraid to have fun.
Phase One: Buying your tickets
When anticipating seeing your favorite artist live, know that they usually tour in promotion of a new project (one to two months after release). Concerts can be expensive, especially with post-covid inflation on just about everything, so when your favorite artist releases or teases a new or pivotal project, start saving up for a potential tour.
When it comes to buying concert tickets, scalpers are indeed an issue. It sucks, but if seeing an artist is important to you, you’ll need to have a laptop and a phone open 10 minutes before the designated on-sale time to ensure you get the tickets you want. If you have to work or are unable to be there when the tickets go live, try to have a friend or family member purchase them for you. Lucky for me, my dad was a huge concert and music enthusiast and literally would do this for me when I expressed interest in seeing an artist while I was at school. I’m sure he got a nostalgic rush from it too. He would buy tickets and take me to concerts until I was about sixteen, and its such a cherished memory for me.
Trust me, I’ve done my share of gambling on tickets and telling myself I’ll get resale tickets later on, and while I always end up attending the shows, I do regret not grabbing the tickets earlier (as with seated shows the resale ticket views usually just suck). For high-risk popular artists, I’d always suggest making the jump and just buying the tickets. One good thing about the ravenous hunt for concert tickets is that if you purchase a good ticket for a show and end up not being able to go or not wanting to go for whatever reason, you’re almost always guaranteed your money back. Someone will buy that ticket!
Phase Two: Concert prep, the setlist & lining up
Many people are unaware that you can find the concert setlist ahead of time and create a playlist so you’re up to date on exactly what songs your favorite artist will play. My dad put me on to setlist.fm years ago, where you can search the artist or tour and see what songs were played at every show. Years and years later the website is still active, up and running (and still has the same design as when I first started using it). Of course, if your concert happens to be the first date on a tour, it would be a surprise and you’d be the one posting the setlist online!
For me, a concert is an EVENT. I love dressing up or ‘on-theme’ for the artist I’m seeing. This means I usually plan my outfit a few days in advance. While I am all for serving a look, I do recommend considering comfort and the ability to move and dance. Do as I say, not what I do - I saw Sexxy Red last fall, and chose to wear boots 2 sizes too small for me just because I wanted to serve. Big mistake. Standing in them for hours was torture. Many such cases for a girl like me who cant help but slay constantly... And I’ll probably do it again!
The essentials needed for a concert are a portable charger and your wallet. Possibly a sharpie if you want to try to meet the artist after the show (see phase six). Many concerts nowadays and larger venues are extremely strict on bag sizes and what you can bring inside, which makes sense considering the senseless violence occurring at concerts in the past few years. Try to pack light and bring the smallest bag possible. If you’re lining up early for a concert, bring a snack and a bottled drink you can dispose of before the show. I can already tell you, don’t bring that digital camera just because there is a risk they will take it away (this happened to me at the Barclays Center and I was too excited for the show I just… threw the camera out). If you need to sneak in something harmless like a vape, a joint, or a lighter, use my trick and stick it in your sock or the inside of your sneaker before you head into the concert venue’s bag check. Of course, if you don’t require a bag, you will enter the concert faster avoiding the bag check area.
When considering what time to arrive for a concert and line up early, think about the artist’s fanbase in question and how devoted they are. The more online support and devotion, the earlier people will line up. Cult fanbase artists like Taylor Swift will have younger obsessed fans lining up at 8 AM or even camping out the night before, artists like Childish Gambino with an older (working) demographic will have the bulk of fans arriving around 5PM, meaning you will get a front row view by arriving at the line around 1PM. I would not recommend camping out for an artist, a barricade view is never that important and I do believe in my ability to wedge myself to a closer view. But I’m probably just saying this because I got pinkeye from sleeping on the street in South Florida. Another concert prep tip - for festivals or concerts you will be waiting in line for, consider a hydration pack in your water bottle as you will need to stay extra hydrated all day. Eat before you head out and have to sit in the sun or outside in the cold all day.
Try to make friends with the people next to you in line, as you can exchange breaks to go get food or go to the restroom, and make fun memories together bonding over the shared love of your favorite artist. Even if it’s just small talk, you’ll likely be near these people for the entire concert, so its good to break the ice and smile with each other. You’ll be getting closer and sweaty soon.
If you’re looking to meet your favorite artist after the show, take the time you’ll be waiting in line to scope out the perimeter of the venue, and try to see where the tour buses are parked, so you know where to head after the show.
Phase Three: The entrance
Many people think that the best view of a concert is from the middle of the stage, which is simply not true. But we can thank this common belief for giving us GREAT views in general admission concerts. If you’re not the first in line, you will still have a good view. One of my greatest hacks is entering a concert and heading straight for the left or right sides of the stage, as you will get closer because most people head to the middle area, have an excellent view, and if needed, can wedge yourself closer to the middle as the show goes on.
Phase Four: The opener(s) and wedging your way to a good view
One of my biggest pet peeves as concert and ‘stan’ culture has developed is the lack of respect for opening artists. If an artist is brought on tour by your favorite artist, you should respect that your favorite artist wants to put you on to music they likely believe in. Even regardless of that, these smaller artists come onstage to larger crowds than they are used to, and pour their hearts out to try to win over new fans. Giving them the baseline respect of listening to them and looking at them while performing, especially if you are in the front rows, is necessary.
Listen, I understand. We are all addicted to our phones. Its inevitable, people will check their phones and get distracted. But for the entire set? Recently, Mitski fans purchased festival tickets and waited all day sitting on the floor at the barricade for Mitski’s headline performance at night. That means that all day long, they were on their phones ignoring the other festival acts, likely sitting and wasting space for people who are there to enjoy the live music of all performers. I promise you, being at the barricade especially for a festival is not that important to where you need to disrespect people bravely sharing their art.
During the opening acts, I like to take the calm time to start wedging my way deeper or closer into the crowd. People are more relaxed and spaced out during the opening acts, so you can use small movements like shifting your weight, moving your shoulders in front of another person, and walking ahead or wedging yourself into the crowd to get a better view. I can’t tell you what to do, but please at least try to be respectful of other concertgoers. More often than not, people will let you through! Beware of cult fanbase concerts however - you might just piss off the wrong person and have your night ruined.
Phase Five: The show
Concerts are a place to lose yourself and have fun. Dance, scream, don’t feel bad about having fun amongst a likely crowd of phone-addicted young people. Just don’t be obnoxious. Of course, there is a fine line, and I’ve probably crossed it before. Most people understand that concerts are a place to let loose, just try not to ruin anyone else’s experience in the process, whether that’s excessive pushing and shoving, getting too intoxicated, dancing into people, or talking during sets. You never know what this artist might mean to them. On the other side of the coin, let people around you have fun and make memories. Again - a close view and an Instagram story are never that serious!
By all means, record your favorite moments. Get that memory, because you will want to look back at it someday. But consider leaving some moments to enjoy without your phone, because these can be so utterly special. Some artists themselves are bothered by the lack of attention given to their performances and instead to phones, likely more are too and just don’t speak on it due to fear of backlash. Huge for Chappell Roan and Beabadoobee to address things like this, breaking down this stereotype that artists aren’t humans just like fans. I can’t believe I even have to say this, but DO NOT throw ANYTHING on stage. You are there to enjoy a performance. Would you throw a water bottle at a Broadway stage?
If you haven’t been to many concerts, almost all concerts have an encore. Your favorite artist will leave the stage at some point near the end of the show, attempting to fake you out and make you believe the show is over by saying something like ‘Thank you for coming!’ just to dim the lights and come back onstage a few moments later. You’ll know when the encore is about to begin because the artist probably hasn’t played their most popular songs yet, as they save them for the end to keep people excited and captivated enough to see the entire show.
Random bonus tidbit of crowdsurfing etiquette I learned while crowdsurfing to Slipknot at Rockville - always keep your arms crossed and your legs together while surfing as it makes it easier for the crowd to lift you up and push you. Also, minimizes potential groping. Hardcore fans take their concert etiquette seriously, and while I don’t know the full ins and outs, mutual respect and taking care of the ones around you is the most important thing.
Bonus Phase Six: After the show & meeting the artists
One of my biggest tips for leaving a concert is to leave before the last song. Almost always, the final song is the artists most popular and overplayed song, like Charli XCX’s ‘Boom Clap’ for years. I think we can miss out on that one. Concerts are hell to leave from, especially when thousands of people are exiting and trying to call Ubers all at once. It relieves a great amount of stress from me as someone who can easily feel claustrophobic to head out a bit early without the crowds. Obviously, if this is an artist you’ve never seen, you may want to stay to enjoy this grand finale of an encore (often with confetti or other effects at larger venues). If you do choose to leave early, you’ll have better access to try and meet the artist after the show.
After leaving the venue, head to your previously scoped out tour bus location. Smaller artists will usually take time after the show to say hi to fans, though this is NOT guaranteed, especially from artists breaking the mold like Chappell Roan. You may have to wait 30 minutes to an hour, but you could have the chance to meet the performing artist, say thank you, and get something signed. Consider that a photo with someone isn’t always the most important thing, making a memory is.
While I typically do not partake in this, as I’ve moved away from being an obsessed stalker-y fan (and grandma likes to get home early), I see no problem in trying to meet your favorite artist in a post-concert setting. Please do not take things too far, and remember that your favorite artist is a human being just like you. You are not entitled to anything further than a performance, and bigger artists tend to leave the venue afterwards as getting bombarded by fans after performing an hour-long set can imaginably be exhausting.
There you have it, my concert do’s and don’t’s, and a run down of what I like to do when attending concerts. Live music is so special to me, and I will always love seeing my favorite (and new) artists performing. TLDR; Respect those around you and don’t be afraid to have fun.
